Habits and the Mental Game (part 2)
Feeling stuck in in-action…
Feeling stuck in patterns that we know don’t serve us (perhaps a mindset, or practical things in our day that we do or don’t do)…
It it such a common, universal feeling and why does it feel SO hard to change habits?
Yes, some of them are engrained.
They feel like ‘home’ and can add up to feeling ‘safe’ and comfortable.
Yes, some of them take a lot of work and effort to start or maintain and it can feel overwhelming and perhaps even ‘threatening’ to change or start.
But I believe that one MENTAL switch can be a huge fire starter to off-set some of those barriers that make implementing new habits so hard.
Most of us belief that THE approach to change is being hard on ourselves.
We got to make ourselves feel SO bad about what we do or don’t do and criticize, blame, (perhaps even shame) ourselves about it so much because that MUST get our buttocks into gear to change right?!
(Side-step: That’s maybe how our parents talked to us and now it’s our internal voice and thinking that’s the way to get ourselves to change certain things).
We might be afraid that if take an approach that is built on understanding, kindness and compassions...it will be too 'soft' and we might not feel “motivated” to change.
I 1000% procent believe that that is THE way to change.
And I like to even go as far as saying that berating yourself and judging yourself is most likely why you’re NOT moving forward and feeling stuck.
That is not a mindset that will set you up for growth.
If you’ve been trying that and having a hard time with changing some of your habits or beliefs: try a COMPASSIONATE approach.
Try to come at your beliefs, behaviour and thoughts with an inquisitive, non-judgmental angle.
Try to understand WHY you have been feeling, thinking, doing certain things all along.
And remember: you’re not judging yourself for what comes up. You want to create that loving, understanding, kind, compassionate space for yourself so that you can truly OPEN UP to yourself without fearing judgment or criticism.
When you give yourself space and permission to be VULNERABLE with yourself,
you are probably gonna hit some gold.
You might trigger some emotions to come up.
All that is GOOD. You have to feel it all.
Really feel it.
Understand your reasons for wanting to hold on to things that you know aren’t serving you.
Understand your reasons for fearing change.
Understand the PAY-OFFS for staying where you are, even when it’s a painful place to be.
There are pay-offs that will keep us there.
This self-awareness is in my opinion the FIRST step to moving forward.
NOW you know what you’re actually dealing with.
Your limiting beliefs. Your fears. Your underlying reasons.
And tweaking on working on those….will set you up for making lasting, meaningful change.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have, is the one with yourself.
Get to know YOU.
Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable with yourself? Are you a safe space for yourself? Do you trust yourself with your deepest, darkest thoughts?